I fear regret more than failure

My therapist always says it is better to take the risk than to regret later that you never tried.

That sentence stayed with me because it touches a very specific fear. It is not only the fear of failing. It is the fear of reaching some future age, looking back, and thinking:

"What if I had tried?"

I am more afraid of that regret than I am of falling on my face because I did something.

Falling on your face hurts. It can be embarrassing. It can cost money, energy, time, and sometimes peace. But at least it gives you an answer. You tried, saw what happened, learned something, and moved forward with a scar that also becomes experience.

The regret of not trying is different. It is more blurry. You never know if it would have worked. You never know how much you would have grown. You cannot go back to that exact moment in life with the same age, the same energy, the same opportunities, and the same people around you.

When I left stability

That mindset is what pushed me to leave a public sector job in Brazil and try to become a developer for companies abroad.

At the time, it was not a simple decision.

A public sector job brings stability, predictability, and a kind of security that many people value, for good reason. I valued it too. But at the same time, there was a huge restlessness inside me.

I wanted to live a different professional life.

I wanted to work with technology at another level. I wanted to use English for real. I wanted to experience different environments. I wanted to find out how far I could go if I put myself in a bigger game.

And yes, I also wanted to make more money.

I do not think there is any shame in saying that. Money does not solve everything, but it changes many things. It buys time, options, comfort, experiences, and the possibility of building things that once felt far away.

Not everything was beautiful

Today I am still grinding in the market.

From the outside, working for companies abroad can look like dollar income, freedom, and a beautiful LinkedIn story. But the reality also includes pressure, uncertainty, hard interviews, English getting stuck, layoffs, global competition, changing stacks, high expectations, and the constant feeling that you need to prove your value.

Even so, I do not regret it at all.

Because when I look back, I lived things I probably would not have lived if I had stayed in the same place.

I lived my dream.

I made more money than I would have made where I was.

I improved my English much more than before, even though I know I still need to improve a lot.

I learned new technologies.

I experienced different environments, companies, and cultures.

I joined events.

I had mentors, I also mentored others, and I helped people get into the international market.

I built a house.

None of that erases the hard parts. But I also cannot pretend those achievements would have happened the same way if I had chosen only to preserve the stability I already had.

Risk also builds you

Sometimes we talk about risk as if it were only a threat.

But risk can also be a place of growth.

When you change direction, you are forced to learn. You learn technical skills, language, negotiation, how to sell yourself better, how to deal with rejection, how to ask for help, and how to start again.

It is not romantic. In practice, it is often exhausting.

But there is a version of you that only appears when you put yourself in motion.

I would not have discovered many things about myself if I had stayed only on the safest path. Maybe I would have had fewer worries. Maybe I would have had more predictability. Maybe I would have had fewer difficult nights.

But I would also have less story.

And now, again

After five years, I am once again feeling that urge to do something different.

I do not know if it is restlessness, ambition, curiosity, or the inability to settle down.

Maybe it is a little bit of everything.

But today I look at that impulse with more kindness. Before, I thought I had to choose one life and stay in it forever. Now I understand that some seasons exist to be lived, absorbed, and then transformed.

I am at peace with everything I gained and also with everything I lost during this time.

Winning teaches.

Losing does too.

And maybe maturity is this: to stop trying to build a life without losses and start choosing which losses make sense to carry.

What I believe today

I am not saying everyone should leave stability, a job, a public position, a city, or a career to chase a dream.

Every person has their own story, family, limits, responsibilities, and timing.

But I believe this more and more:

there is a cost to trying, but there is also a cost to not trying.

The first one usually shows up quickly. The second one shows up years later.

For me, at least so far, it made sense to pay the cost of trying.

I have fallen on my face a few times. I will probably fall again. But I would rather deal with the marks of someone who tried than with the heavy silence of someone who spent life wondering what could have been.